Saturday, February 14, 2009
Things kept progressing in a downward spiral from my last entry. When he returned from work the next day, I made an idiotic comment about not being appreciative to me when I make supper but him giving his mom (who lives with us) a "thank you that was really good" comment everytime she cooks. What was I thinking????? I get so needy sometimes and it is always at the wrong time. Well, one thing led to another and next thing I know he's packing all of his clothes into 3 suitcases and leaving me and the kids "for good" again. He left fairly calmly, but due to the days leading up I should have known this was an act of bipolar disorder no matter how calm he appeared. I don't feel like reliving what happened so I'm not going to go into details. He ended up staying in a motel and his mother moved out the same night. He forgot to take his meds with him (he really did forget rather then leaving them intentionally). The next day I called him to see if he was okay and he was not doing well at all. He said he would come back when he was fixed or dead and was having a major struggle with suicidal thoughts. He was at work but had a doctor appt at the end of the day. I did some fanagling and got the doctor to call him in for an earlier appointment. He took the bait and they gave me Xanax to calm him down. He came home and it totally mellowed him out. I spent about 10 minutes with him before he went to bed. He said he was still a little mad at me, but not much. He got up and went to work for the day. I talked to him a few times on the phone and he was in a good mood. That night was a "normal" evening. He was chatty about the last days' events and ready to talk about what happened. He talked with his mom and chose to forgive her for leaving. Today was a good mood day, but we were also able to purchase a lot of items we have needed and didn't have money for. We got our tax return yesterday and we got caught up. He is making wise decision and not just blowing it. I found Julie Fast's website, bipolarhappens and did a lot of reading. I signed up for her newsletter and today I bought some of her books. We went on a valentine's day date and I did some reading to him from the books to see if the statements in the book were true. I think it meant alot to him that I AM trying to understand what he goes through and he verified many things that I read were true for him. The books are bringing me hope to deal with this disorder better. Another great thing, a guy from our church who was healed from bipolar gave him a call the day after the episode and spoke with him for awhile. This meant alot to him and helped him get through this quicker. If you have a relationship with someone who has bipolar, you are invaluable to helping them get well. I know my husband has pushed away as many people as possible, but a few hang on and they are a real blessing.
Posted by Stacy Orndorff at 9:38 PM